The Best Advice I’ve Received as an Engaged Woman

When some people find out you’re engaged the first thing that happens is they become an expert in being married or engaged. Most advice you receive is usually not asked for but sometimes if you listen close enough there will be a  gem or two that you can actually pocket away.

For me, those gems are the 5 things down below.

1.The wedding is your day, do exactly what you and future husband want.

This is a great piece of advice. I heard this a lot in the first month or so of being engaged when everyone wants to know if you’ve chosen a date or a venue. Most people tell you that the day is all about you and your husband to be so don’t sweat the small stuff and do exactly what you want. I couldn’t agree with this more. Of course you can take into account special requests or traditions that your family might have or expect you to uphold during the wedding but at the end of the day you really want to ensure that you and your future husband do what is important to each of you. Nate and I have tried our best to keep this in the back of our minds at all times.

2.The actual wedding is actually only 5 hours.
In the grand scheme of things the entire wedding from the ceremony to the reception is only 5 hours. It’s less than a full work day! That means cherish the time and don’t get anxious or stress yourself out. Plan as much as you can but only to a certain point. For me, this was a major gem because you spend so much time planning for this day and it’s not even a full day. So, that helps to put things in perspective to remember that this is just the start of an incredible journey and that we shouldn’t stress over things we can’t control and create unnecessary anxiety.

3.Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Asking for help whether that be financially or physically can be a pretty intimidating task. I learned quickly that I needed to get over that and rely on the people that are there for me offering a helping hand or dollar or two! it’s incredibly important to not be too proud to get the help you need while planning one of the most important days of your life (no pressure). I’m happy that I started to take this advice because it’s taken so much stress and pressure off the planning process.

4.Think about what you would want out a wedding.
When you start wedding planning it’s such an interesting process because you see the planning from your lens, not that of the guests who will be attending. So, you want the best flowers, the best cutlery, the best napkins, etc. However, if you think about the last BOMB wedding you went to I’m sure you don’t remember the plates you ate off of but your remember the amazing time you had on the dance floor, the yummy food and the beautiful couple. I’m learning to not sweat the small things and just allow things to fall into place.

5.Do a first look so you can attend your cocktail hour.

At first when someone said this to me I found it so strange until I heard it again and again and again. Most couples actually do a first look (photo’s before the ceremony) so that they can enjoy all the festivities of their party. This to me is one of the best pieces of advice that I’ve received and I can’t wait to do our first look so that we can enjoy your cocktail hour because the way we have it set up it’s about to be LIT! Getting that extra 90 minutes or so to chat with friends and family during the cocktail hour allows for the reception to literally be about dancing and fun! This way you aren’t seeing people for the first time when you are about to eat your dinner as husband and wife for the first time.

That’s it you guys! I hope you enjoyed this post and take away some gems from me to you.

Anyone else out there engaged or married? What was the best advice you received when you first got engaged? Let me know down below!

P.S. Check out my other wedding series posts here and here.

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2 Comments

  1. Alana Lewis
    February 13, 2018 / 4:47 pm

    Nice post!! As a guest of a few weddings your comment about what folks remember is not the plate lol. I went to two destination weddings and a couple weddings at home. Destination weddings aren’t for everyone, the couples did what was best for them and I enjoyed those weddings so much DR we had such a good time we ran into the ocean together, wedding dress and all lol. Jamaica was lit as well, reception off the ocean and a gorgeous sunset. I was a bridesmaid in a recent friends wedding and the ceremony lasted all of about 20-30 minutes it was super quick. Enjoy

  2. Camille
    February 13, 2018 / 8:23 pm

    We’ve been married almost 7 years. Best advice I got was from a friend who has now been married almost 20 years. She reminded me throughout the planning process that in the end you will be married and that’s what you want. So the cake could fall over, it could rain, the bouquet might not get tossed at the exact right time, but in the end you’ll be married to your best friend and love of your life! So as you stated about not sweating the small stuff too much! We also focused on what was priority for us which was good food, dancing/music, and drinks. So the other stuff like flowers, chair covers and centerpieces which aren’t really my thing, we didn’t put as much focus (or money) on. We did make sure the cuisine, dancing and drinks were amazing!
    Happy planning and wedding day and most importantly happy marriage!!

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